Our Favorite Quotes from the Best Cult Films of the 80's

You can check your anatomy all you want, and even though there may be normal variation, when it comes right down to it, this far inside the head it all looks the same. No, no, no, don't tug on that. You never know what it might be attached to. -Buckaroo Bonsai Adventures of Buckaroo Bonsai

Bring us a pitcher of beer every seven minutes until somebody passes out. And then bring one every ten minutes.
-Thornton Mellon Back to School

The football team at my high school, they were tough. After they sacked the quarterback, they went after his family.
-Thornton Mellon Back to School

I've been going to this high school for seven and a half years. I’m no dummy. I know high school girls.
-Charles De Mar Better off Dead

Two brothers... One speaks no English, the other learned English from watching ”The Wide World of Sports.“ So you tell me... Which is better, speaking no English at all, or speaking Howard Cosell?
-Lane Meyer Better off Dead

Oh, you beautiful babes from England, for whom we have traveled through time... will you go to the prom with us in San Dimas? We will have a most triumphant time!
-Ted Theodore Logan Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure

When some wild-eyed, eight-foot-tall maniac grabs your neck, taps the back of your favorite head up against the barroom wall, and he looks you crooked in the eye and he asks you if ya paid your dues, you just stare that big sucker right back in the eye, and you remember what ol' Jack Burton always says at a time like that: "Have ya paid your dues, Jack?" "Yessir, the check is in the mail."
- Jack Burton Big Trouble in Little China

We’re on a mission from God
-Jake & Elwood Blues The Blues Brothers

I just wanna know how one becomes a janitor because Andrew here is very interested in pursuing a career in the custodial arts.
-John Bender The Breakfast Club

Cinderella story. Outta nowhere. A former greenskeeper, now, about to become the Masters champion. It looks like a mirac... It's in the hole! It's in the hole! It's in the hole!
-Carl Spackler Caddyshack

This is a hybrid. This is a cross, ah, of Bluegrass, Kentucky Bluegrass, Featherbed Bent, and Northern California Sensemilia. The amazing stuff about this is, that you can play 36 holes on it in the afternoon, take it home and just get stoned to the bejeezus-belt that night on this stuff.
-Carl Spackler Caddyshack

What brings you to this nape of the woods, neck of the wape; How come you're here?
-Ty Webb Caddyshack

Is it just me, or does every woman in New York have a severe emotional problem?
-Prince Akeem Coming to America

All I need are some tasty waves, a cool buzz, and I'm fine.
-Jeff Spicoli Fast Times at Ridgemont High

Look at you: member of the honor roll, assistant to the assistant manager of the movie theater. I'm tellin’ ya, Rat, if this girl can't smell your qualifications, then who needs her, right?
-Mike Damone Fast Times at Ridgemont High

Goonies never say die!
-Mike Goonies

Tell me Sarah, what do you think of my Labyrinth?
-Jareth the Goblin King Labyrinth

One thing about living in Santa Carla I never could stomach, all the damn vampires.
-Grandpa Lost Boys

I think I should warn you all, when a vampire bites it, it's never a pretty sight. No two bloodsuckers go the same way. Some yell and scream, some go quietly, some explode, some implode, but all will try to take you with them.
-Edgar Frog Lost Boys

Biology and the prejudices of others conspired to keep us childless.
-H.I. Raising Arizona

Say, did you hear about the person of the Polish persuasion who walked into a bar with a big 'ol pile of shit in his hands and he says, "Look what I almost stepped in"?
-Glen Raising Arizona

Good evening, Otto. This is Agent Rogersz. I'm going to ask you a few questions. Since time is short and you may lie, I'm going to have to torture you. But I want you to know, it isn't personal.
-Agent Rogersz Repo Man

I sink I have a frush.
-Takashi Revenge of the Nerds

Even the most primitive societies have an innate respect for the insane.
-The Motorcycle Boy Rumble Fish

You know, if there were gangs around like in the old days, I'd be running things, not you. You'd be second lieutenant. You might have gotten by for a while on the Motorcycle Boy's rep, but you have to be smart to run things. You ain't got your brother's brains. It's nothing personal, Rusty James, but nobody would follow you into a fight because you'd get people killed - and nobody wants to be killed.
-Smokey Rumble Fish

You have the ring, and I see your Schwartz is as big as mine. Let's see how well you handle it.
-Dark Helmet Spaceballs

I’m a mog – half man half dog. I’m my own best friend!
-Barf Spaceballs

This movie was shot in 3B - three beers - and it looks good, eh?
-Bob McKenzie Strange Brew

Hey we found a dead mouse in our beer eh. That means you owe us a free case.
-Doug McKenzie Strange Brew

I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass... and I'm all out of bubblegum.
-Nada They Live

You see, I take these glasses off, she looks like a regular person, doesn't she? Put 'em back on...... formaldehyde-face!
-Nada They Live

I'm givin' you a choice. Either put on these glasses or start eatin' that trashcan.
-Frank They Live

Certainly, in the topsy-turvy world of heavy rock, having a good solid piece of wood in your hand is often useful.
-Ian Faith This is Spinal Tap

As long as there's, you know, sex and drugs, I can do without the rock and roll.
-Mick Shrimpton This is Spinal Tap
These go to eleven.
-Nigel Tufnel This is Spinal Tap

We've got Armadillos in our trousers. It's really quite frightening.
-Nigel Tufnel This is Spinal Tap

He was wearing my Harvard tie. Can you believe it? My Harvard tie. Like oh, sure he went to Harvard.
-Louis Winthorpe III Trading Places

When I was growing up, if we wanted a Jacuzzi, we had to fart in the tub.
-Billy Ray Valentine Trading Places

Life is like a mop. Sometimes life gets full of dirt and crud and hairballs and things and you gotta clean it out. You gotta stick it in here and rinse it off and start all over again. And sometimes life sticks to the floor so much that a mop, a mop, it's not good enough. You gotta get down there with like a toothbrush, you know, and you gotta really scrub 'cause you gotta get it off. But if that doesn't work, you can't give up. You gotta stand right up. You gotta run to a window and say, "These floors are dirty as hell, and I'm not gonna take it any more."
-Stanley Spadowski UHF

Don't worry, Bob. It's just like working in a fish-market. Except you don't have to clean and gut fish all day.
-George Newman UHF

Oh, Joel Miller, you've just found the marble in the oatmeal. You're a lucky, lucky, lucky little boy! 'Cause you know why? You get to drink from... the FIRE HOOOOOSE!
-Stanley Spadowski UHF

EVERYTHING'S COOL! Yeah yeah. My dad's gonna castrate me. And my mother almost had like cardiac arrest. My parents are not gonna let me in the house again and if they do I'm gonna be grounded till I'm about 45. But other than that everything's great. Everything's cool. In fact things can't get any better.
-Garry Weird Science

If you want be a party animal, you have to learn to live in the jungle.
-Lisa Weird Science